well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
