I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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