he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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