Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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