I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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