sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
