What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
