youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
