the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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