He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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