Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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