she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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