i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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