Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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