And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
