We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
