He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
