Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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