The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
