i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
