I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
