The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize