People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
