After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
