what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
