Your face is a jimmy john
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
