new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize