Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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