Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I did not marry a roomba.
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