So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
