I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Green mimosas i think yes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
