It's like a parade of train wrecks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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