If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
