in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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