At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
this is an emotional support booty call
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
