I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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