hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
