conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
