Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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