Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
