So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
