I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
