Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
