she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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