You're so nebulous sometimes
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
