She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I touched a dick in church today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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