I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
