I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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