Your dad touched me again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
