Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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