I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You pole danced in your parka.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
