I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
