I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize