ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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