I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize