there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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