I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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