At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
