He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
