if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
